How in the world do you talk on the phone and keep your 7 kids from interrupting you every 5 seconds? I feel like I can’t get a minute of peace.

by Amy Hilbrich Davis

in Ask Amy,Parenting,Parenting Tips,Personal Wellness

I know this can be frustrating and that’s why I came up with a strategy to both enjoy my conversation and teach my kids to respect my time and attention.

If I am speaking to someone on the phone and one of my kids needs me and it is not an emergency (ie, house on fire, someone in danger, or someone at the door,) that child quietly, (yes, without sound) stands next to me and holds my hand– done. It is that easy. The gesture of taking my hand signals to me that he or she would like my attention as soon it is convenient for me to give it. This best practice teaches my kids patience, respect and proper etiquette not to interrupt someone during a conversation. This works for all ages of kids, yet it will only work if you do it– every day, no exceptions

One last thing, if your kids don’t cooperate, the consequence is that they lose whatever it was they wanted or needed in the first place. If interrupted, your answer must always be “No.” It will take some practice, but you will get good at it. Believe me; your kids will start to follow your rule pretty quickly, especially if you are consistent. Keep in mind that the inspiring Moms job description is to “keep your kids, happy, healthy, safe and cozy.” This strategy helps you proactively develop healthy kids by instilling patience, respect and cooperation. Be sure to praise their cooperation. Patience is a virtue, yet learning it takes practice.

I don’t feel like I am connecting with my kids, how can I build that into my day?

by Amy Hilbrich Davis

in Ask Amy,Kids,Parenting,Parenting Tips,Personal Wellness

First off, the fact that you recognize that you want to strengthen your relationship with your kids is great; you are half way there because you want it!

 

To create closeness or cozy, I’d love to share my most important parenting tool; the inspiring Moms Job Description which is, “My job is to keep you, happy, healthy, safe and cozy.” I developed this job description about 15 years ago, and I recite it aloud to my kids dozens of times each day. It provides me with direction while making my kids aware of my responsibilities and what they can expect from me as their mom. The biggest benefit is that it guides you in making and explaining every single parenting decision to your children; especially the unpopular ones. So, to answer your question, it is your job to develop cozy. Read on for a simple best practice to help you get started.

 

Create the habit of reading to your child all snuggled up on your lap for as long as your lap is big enough. When they graduate to the chair or cushion next to you touch them, arm to arm, and share your warmth. Focus on as many of the five senses (touch, sight, smell, taste and sound) as possible. The more senses that you engage in caring for your children, the more your child will remember how it felt when you snuggled up on the couch and read a favorite book with them. The bonus in creating sensory based memories is all it might take is a smell, taste or feeling to bring back those wonderful moments you shared with your child. So, how about baking a batch of cookies with the kids and enjoying them after you read together (slice and bake work just fine). Just like the smells of my fresh banana muffins or chocolate chip cookies ellicit feelings of home or warmth to my kids, so must you create the cozy by your touch and activities to build togetherness and closeness. Don’t wait! There is nothing more wonderful and nurturing to your child than knowing that the most important person in their world is choosing to spend time with them.

 

Read, read, read– believe me, they don’t fit on your lap forever!  Need book ideas? Check out my favorites this month!

How do you take care of daily house chores with your kids underfoot?

by Amy Hilbrich Davis

in Ask Amy,Home Management,Home and Family Management,Kids

It’s not easy, but it’s critical, as we strive to develop responsible kids. The reality is that maintaining a home requires work and whether you work outside or inside the home, it takes time. The sooner our sweet lovelies learn this, the better they will be at managing their future responsibilities. Your family needs to realize that the dishes don’t magically stack themselves in the dishwasher and laundry isn’t sorted, folded and put away on its own-although wouldn’t that be nice!

 

I learned early on with my young family that I needed to integrate the chores of our home into our time together. Chores became a part of our shared daily routine. In fact, if our chores didn’t get done, we didn’t run off to activities, because play time was secondary to our responsibilities- subsequently, we were late for many a playdate, but the message was clear; our responsibilities at home were a priority. Of course, there were countless exceptions, but just like all parents, we had our work- every day.  Chores became another way to spend our time together.

 

I was recently coaching a mom and used the lives of Laura and Mary Ingalls, as an example (yes, I grew up in the 70s) Did Laura & Mary hang out while their mom fetched water from the creek, darned the socks, and made bread?? I think not. Those sweet girls were the solution. They sat right next to their momma working together to complete what needed to be done, before they went off to catch butterflies, or whatever.

 

Now, back to your chores. In order to make a chore seem fun and like “special time” spent with their momma, you need to be creative.  Make up a song after breakfast, which signals the gang to clean up the kitchen. Another option is to create a check list that is posted in the kitchen which orients the kids to their morning responsibilities-both in pictures and words, so every child, regardless of their age can follow it. Do the same for afternoon, or after school responsibilities.

 

By creating a routine to follow, you are providing a step by step guide for your kids to be successful. And who doesn’t want to feel successful? Your kids will take pride in their accomplishments and soon master them.  By praising their efforts, you will show them how proud you are and this encouragement goes a long way. The chore may not done perfect but they will be good enough. Learn to live with good enough and grab your coat and head out to the park! 

 

Want to see what works for us?  Download Morning and Afternoon Checklists

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