I don’t feel like I am connecting with my kids, how can I build that into my day?

by Amy Hilbrich Davis

in Ask Amy,Kids,Parenting,Parenting Tips,Personal Wellness

First off, the fact that you recognize that you want to strengthen your relationship with your kids is great; you are half way there because you want it!


To create closeness or cozy, I’d love to share my most important parenting tool; the inspiring Moms Job Description which is, “My job is to keep you, happy, healthy, safe and cozy.” I developed this job description about 15 years ago, and I recite it aloud to my kids dozens of times each day. It provides me with direction while making my kids aware of my responsibilities and what they can expect from me as their mom. The biggest benefit is that it guides you in making and explaining every single parenting decision to your children; especially the unpopular ones. So, to answer your question, it is your job to develop cozy. Read on for a simple best practice to help you get started.


Create the habit of reading to your child all snuggled up on your lap for as long as your lap is big enough. When they graduate to the chair or cushion next to you touch them, arm to arm, and share your warmth. Focus on as many of the five senses (touch, sight, smell, taste and sound) as possible. The more senses that you engage in caring for your children, the more your child will remember how it felt when you snuggled up on the couch and read a favorite book with them. The bonus in creating sensory based memories is all it might take is a smell, taste or feeling to bring back those wonderful moments you shared with your child. So, how about baking a batch of cookies with the kids and enjoying them after you read together (slice and bake work just fine). Just like the smells of my fresh banana muffins or chocolate chip cookies ellicit feelings of home or warmth to my kids, so must you create the cozy by your touch and activities to build togetherness and closeness. Don’t wait! There is nothing more wonderful and nurturing to your child than knowing that the most important person in their world is choosing to spend time with them.


Read, read, read– believe me, they don’t fit on your lap forever!  Need book ideas? Check out my favorites this month!

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